You Know You’re Terminally Unemployed When…

Okay, so we’re unemployed and yet we can’t even get our shit together to post on this blog?! Are we for real?! Yes, unfortunately, we’re for real. Being funemployed takes a toll on your motivation after a while. Just take it from our guest poster, CH! (Also, this is our 100th post!)

Our reader, CH, sent this to us by email. We thought it was a fabulous condensation of all our collected unemployed feelings as of late. I promise this had nothing to do with our laziness. We would have posted this whether or not we were sleeping 14 hours a day. Really.

On a temp agency application sheet, our reader CH wrote:  I am looking for an opportunity where I can create my own schedule (read: sometimes not show up at all) and continue to earn money (read: $65,000 annual base).

The sort of work doesn’t factor in my decision as long as it isn’t physical (though, I am willing to discuss homosexual pornography).  However, I am willing to explore options that may differ from my employment goal (i.e., filing, doing your errands, ego stroking, scheduling appointments, etc) as I am a fast learner and saddled with so much student debt that it is difficult to be picky.

Read the entirety of this guest poster’s blog after the jump.

Benefits of Unemployment #8

While your friends all get up in the morning to go TO an office. 

You get up in the afternoon and WATCH The Office on Hulu.

And you get to drink beer, too! My choice today: Honey Moon, a Blue Moon seasonal special brewed with honey, orange peel, and both pale and white wheat malts. Yumm-O.

You Know it’s a Recession When…

Thirty THOUSAND people apply to be public school teachers in NYC, 700 get in, and then they call a hiring freeze.

Those are "teach me" heels, as opposed to "fuck me" heels. Just so ya know.

Shit sucks.

Protest! (Got Something Better to Do?)

There’s gonna be a protest! Heads are gonna fly. Like Lord of the Flies fly.

Look, we know y’all might not be too into unions (assholes!) Some of our readers have expressed this to us in email form. But y’all gotta admit that $405 is not enough to live on (especially if you’re letting them take 10% “income” tax out of it. Puhleeze!)

We used to skip the protests ourselves, because we were working (read interviewing politicians, police and actors), but this time we’re gonna go, at least to document this lovely Depression 2.0 moment. Won’t you join us?

Thanks to our friends at the National Employment Law Project!