Okay, so we’re unemployed and yet we can’t even get our shit together to post on this blog?! Are we for real?! Yes, unfortunately, we’re for real. Being funemployed takes a toll on your motivation after a while. Just take it from our guest poster, CH! (Also, this is our 100th post!)
Our reader, CH, sent this to us by email. We thought it was a fabulous condensation of all our collected unemployed feelings as of late. I promise this had nothing to do with our laziness. We would have posted this whether or not we were sleeping 14 hours a day. Really.
On a temp agency application sheet, our reader CH wrote: I am looking for an opportunity where I can create my own schedule (read: sometimes not show up at all) and continue to earn money (read: $65,000 annual base).
The sort of work doesn’t factor in my decision as long as it isn’t physical (though, I am willing to discuss homosexual pornography). However, I am willing to explore options that may differ from my employment goal (i.e., filing, doing your errands, ego stroking, scheduling appointments, etc) as I am a fast learner and saddled with so much student debt that it is difficult to be picky.
Read the entirety of this guest poster’s blog after the jump.
YOU KNOW YOU’RE TERMINALLY UNEMPLOYED WHEN…You give up all hope on your job search. After hearing that I was not “chosen to move ahead in the dental reception selection process,” I cried a little into my glass of wine, dusted off my diploma, and decided to explore the world of temp agencies. Today, I wrote this narrative in the application for one such organization:
Please describe in 500 words or less:
(1) The type of opportunities that would interest you.
(2) Why you are looking (i.e. not satisfied with your current position, just browsing the job market, etc)
I am looking for an opportunity where I can create my own schedule (read: sometimes not show up at all) and continue to earn money (read: $65,000 annual base). The sort of work doesn’t factor in my decision as long as it isn’t physical (though, I am willing to discuss homosexual pornography). However, I am willing to explore options that may differ from my employment goal (i.e., filing, doing your errands, ego stroking, scheduling appointments, etc) as I am a fast learner and saddled with so much student debt that it is difficult to be picky.
I am looking for work because there is a recession and it seems like the en vogue thing to do. Also, I am unemployed. It is said, in the field of economics, that one can be unemployed only if he is actively seeking employment. Looking for work is the only way I can remain a member of America’s labor force and I am nothing if not a patriot.
Very funny.
Not to be a buzz killer, but…
This is marginally funny but not very productive. For a lot of us, unemployment is a serious problem. It destroys every aspect of our lives: our families, our physical and mental health, our very will to live. There’s not a galldurn thing funny about unemployment, and I keep seeing all these blogs trying to make light of it.
Damn it, it’s time to GET SERIOUS! We need to organize. We need to make things happen. Millions of people are hurting, including children and old people. Not everybody has the luxury of being able to screw around on a job application.
What’s wrong with the kids today? Are they all too busy with their witty blogs? Doesn’t anybody give a shit about anything anymore? F*ck, when I was in college, we protested against Apartheid which was half a world away because we were young and idealistic and GAVE A F*(K!!
Again, sorry to be a buzzkill, but I truly hate your generation sometimes.
omg…can i re-purpose this for my blog? I will make sure you are credited! This is a great response!!! Let me know if I can put this up at Recessionmama on Sunday.